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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 6

Control sentence-level error (grammar, punctuation, spelling).

At the beginning of this semester my work was only passable, with it being plagued with spelling and grammatical errors. This was often fixed by bringing it through a better word processing program most of my spelling errors were fixed. This also helped to fix my mistakes with punctuation and grammar, which are things I tried to improve upon in future work. My most glaring problem was by far sentence structure, with solid attempts at reworking and formatting them so they have a more streamlined structure and flow. But sense this is an area which I’ve had consistent trouble with, I continued to strive to make improvements. With a renewed effort and a focus on improving this for future papers and blog posts.

When comparing my work at the start of this semester to the end and considering the promises I made and my goals I say I was able to improve. Still, most of my errors still lied in the format and sentence structure, with some minor spelling and grammar errors mixed in. These were resolved through a combined effort of rereading and peer review, with me taking the initial step to look over my work to change what didn’t make sense to me. With me than having a peer look over it again and tell me what and what didn’t make sense to them, where then I would base off of their feedback make changes. Below is an example of this process showing the comment and then changes that I made after their feedback. With using this technique I’ve been able to sharply improve my content from what I produced at the start of this semester. My work is now far more considerate and profound in depth and reflection where at the start of the semester my work was often lacking and shallow in some places.

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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 5

Document their work using appropriate conventions (MLA).

At the start of this semester, I needed to make some major strides in my intext citations. I often had to redo them as they were done incorrectly, with them being done in the wrong format. But this was more of an issue for in text citations than general citations. This error occurred because the software that I used for citations had APA as its preset so on occasion citations would be put into APA instead of the desired MLA. But this could quickly be rectified with minimal effort. On the part of in text citations I struggled with far more. The style of in text citations that were used in this were nothing that I’d ever used before. So, I often found myself reverting to the format for in text citations I used in high school out of habit. But I’ve been able to work on this as the semesters have gone on with me almost overcoming this nasty habit. But I still find myself slipping from time to time, yet now I’m quicker to catch any such errors. The same can be said for my other citations which I will be more likely to correct in the program rather than when it’s in the paper. With all of this considered I would have to say that I firmly believe that I’ve seen a slow but steady improvement in my skills using and incorporating citations. Yet as with most things I still have room for improvement and future upward movement in my level of competence with this skill.

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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 4

Be able to critique their own and others’ work by emphasizing global revision early in the writing process and local revision later in the process.

At the beginning of this semester my reflections on others’ work were in my view severely lacking. With any real reflections being local and not global, with this not helping them to further develop and flush out their ideas. This is certainly something that I’ve always struggled with as I’ve always been reserved in the critique of others’ work as I feel as if I may overstep and do more harm than good. With this resulting in my critics most falling into the realm of local, which really only has so much benefit. But over the semester I have made an extreme effort and luckily been able to improve. With me being able to help further develop their idea through meaningful feedback as I come out of my shell. With me being able to critique the paper’s contents over its spelling and grammar. I’m feeling that I was able to give more profound and meaningful feedback that could allow for proper improvement of their ideas and concepts. Which is certainly a stunning improvement when compared to the work that I did during the beginning of this semester. Although I do still feel as if I’m lacking in some regards. My critiques are certainly better and help to improve the content and narrative, but they can be sparse at times. I often find myself making a few large and precise comments on what they could possibly add or integrate, as opposed to a large number of more general yet still constructive comments. Yet this is something that is not necessarily a downside as most of my critiques are more meaningful and precise. Such as the comments I made on the following paper.

With all of this considered I’m still happy with my improvement in skill, as I’m far better and giving more meaningful feedback than I was at the start of this semester.

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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 3

Employ techniques of active reading, critical reading, and informal reading response for inquiry, learning, and thinking.

For all the annotations that I’ve used for both my papers and blog posts, I often held one idea in mind always when reading and reflecting upon them. That being “How can this relate to me?”. Now I don’t mean this in a self-centered or self-absorbed manner, where I’m placing myself at the center of the universe. I do this to attempt to make my work and writing as personal and relatable as possible. To try to avoid a superficial and surface level skimming of the material with a simple regurgitation of key points and facts, with nothing added to it other than a simple yes or no to its ultimate point. I rather attempt to make a connection and investment in the piece often attempting to connect it to my life and or aspects of it. An example of this is attempting to relate my life experiences to that of Lins daughter which I do in the first annotation above. Or the example from the second image where I consider my heritage and its effect on me just as Lin was doing. When you consider a piece and its ideas and the possible relations and or connections that it may have to your life you have an eye-opening moment of sorts. Where your able to break down the barrier or level of disconnect between you and the subject you’re writing and its contents flourish. Your paper can escape the doldrums of regurgitation and become far more personable and engaging and even relatable to the reader. Or even at times make your position on a topic or argument more profound and hold more traction. For example, below here are some examples of how I’ve attempted to implement personal connections into my essays and paper to either strengthen a point or connect to its content.

“These are examples of “Covering” or “Marketable”, these people are open with who they are yes, but they downplay it and minimize it till it’s almost nonexistent. I’ve experienced this firsthand I’m gay, yet I would say that I’m heavily covering for it. I do so because it is essential to be successful which is sad but the reality. I know that if I was open with my sexuality on a broad level I would most certainly not be where I am today. Hiding my true self and even lying to others has and most likely will be better for me for the foreseeable future. Often people are viewed as one thing or have one thing define them. Like having the fact that your gay be your personality or effect every decision in your life. This simply is a ludicrous idea to even consider, so much more than one thing influences a person and their actions and to assume otherwise is simply false.” (Jackson Schuyler).

 “I’ve had some personal experience with all of this. I should first mention that I’m gay, but not gay presenting or outwardly gay. I’ve come out yes, but this information is not exactly in the public domain so to speak nor hopefully will it ever be. I try to hide myself away for fear of what backlash I may receive for being the way I am, not meeting the role that society expects of me and thus being a failure in its eyes. I’ve tried to change myself to be someone else. I tried to speak with a deeper voice and wear more straight looking clothes, to try and compensate for my hidden difference yet I’ve never felt happy doing this. All I feel I’m doing is putting a painting over a hole in the wall, yes it will hide it but at the end of the day the problem is still there. Yet I know my situation is not unique by any means there’s probably millions of others just like me in this work going through a similar personal conflict of trying to express themselves.” (Jackson Schuyler).

With these personal connections and points I’ve been able to make my writing more personal and even enjoyable. It’s always better to read a well formatted and engaging piece of literature than it is to read a boring surface level reflection. Yet also by doing this I’ve become a better writer and reader. Through these connections and reflections, I feel far more engaged and considerate of the contents. With me often catching more meaning from it and seeing other points of views and or points. This has also helped me to further question and inquire about the text with me more often finding myself more inquisitive and reflective on the work and its contents. I’ve used this level of personal reflection to try and fully fulfill all the key points of Learning Outcome Three. With me becoming a more engaged reader and writer because of it, with seeing a sharp increase in quality and complexity of my work.

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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 2

Be able to integrate their ideas with those of others using summary, paraphrase, quotation, analysis, and synthesis of relevant sources.

This semester gave me a great deal of practice for improving my use of quotation and its integration into texts. I was partially excited about having this opportunity as this has always been something that I’ve struggled with a great deal in the past. This is certainly reflective in my earlier work this semester which can be described as fairly adequate. Yet my skills were still able to extract and developed and ideas from a text. With one of the best examples being as follows from my first paper.

“Yet thoughts of this nature don’t go through one’s mind when this occurs, we just think of what we know which most often is the societal standard. We see it as out of place and thus see a need to put it back into its place. In this thinking a great deal of harm can be dealt to both self-expression and one’s wellbeing. Yet this did not keep Abbe from expressing himself in a way he felt appropriate.

 “As before—even worse than before—Abe suffered taunts and teasing for his style of dress and his love of style. But he did not back down; he doubled down. He flew the freak flag of his Tigran Avetisyan shirt high. And though I couldn’t fathom the impulse driving my kid to expose himself, every day, to mockery and verbal abuse at school, I admired him for not surrendering,”(Chabon).

 Abbe instead decides to put his foot down and doubles down on his true self and his freedom of expression. Not allowing fear and the thoughts and judgments of others limit his own personal happiness. Yet with Abbe it should be considered that he comes from a position of privilege and thus is given a certain amount of leeway with things of this nature.” (Jackson Schuyler)

This although able to certainly reflect upon the ideas and develop them in reference to a larger concept still poses a certain level of lacking. With it feeling slightly stilted and robotic with it feeling more like a regurgitation of the quotes content rather than a true reflection or usage of its ideas. I think my progression made in this field is best demonstrated by my usage of outside materials in my second paper. One of the best examples of me being able to implement this properly is as follows.

“But as one would expect this is hardly the case with the assimilation in its true form best being put into context by Lalami. “What does assimilation mean these days? The word has its roots in the Latin ‘‘similar,’’ meaning to make similar. Immigrants are expected, over an undefined period, to become like other Americans, a process metaphorically described as a melting pot. But what this means, in practice, remains unsettled. After all, Americans have always been a heterogeneous population — racially, religiously, regionally. By what criteria is an outsider judged to fit into such a diverse nation? For some, assimilation is based on pragmatic considerations, like achieving some fluency in the dominant language, some educational or economic success, some familiarity with the country’s history and culture. For others, it runs deeper and involves relinquishing all ties, even linguistic ones, to the old country.” (Lalami). To simply abandon your past and heritage is a reality that is often faced by almost all who come to live in the US. But full abandonment of one’s culture and past are often hard and next to impossible to fully do. This is where covering enters to fill the void and need for assimilation. Covering enters as a “happy” medium in this situation allowing for the appearance of assimilation but not the total loss of one’s self. This is what in part has created the following and level of general acceptance and application seen around it. Having covering as a sort of necessary evil to fully fit into the societal norms. Without the complete loss of oneself and or their past.” (Jackson Schuyler)

This I feel was able to far better reflect upon and develop the ideas that was put forward by the source. With it being able to be contextualized and set into a larger and more precise context. That can allow for it to use in tangent with other source and ideas to make the paper and thusly its argument stronger. With this considered I would have to say I’ve been able to improve my skills in integrating sources, but once again more practice would be needed to get a full mastery.

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Learning Outcomes

Learning Outcome 1

Demonstrate the ability to approach writing as a recursive process that requires substantial revision of drafts for content, organization, and clarity (global revision), as well as editing and proofreading (local revision).

On the idea of revisions of my work I’ve made strides from the point I was previously before this semester. With me leaving this semester with pieces that were objectively better than that I was producing when I started. But to say I’m happy with this improvement is not necessarily the case. My skills for revising this semester were in my opinion lacking to say the least on my part but the lack of contrary feedback. My pacers have always held a high level of grammatical error, I’m by no means a talented or articulate writer. Most of my pieces are crude and simplistic in my opinion. This is something that I’ve come to terms with thought, so often I always want my feedback to be on my contents rather than my flow or grammatical proficiency. As these are things early rectified in post in a word processing document such as the one, I’m using to type this. That is why I was delighted to hear about the focus on global editing that this course would have. Yet sadly most feedback I received was on local revisions over global certainly helping me to write and tell my ideas. But left me feeling that my content was beginning to stray behind. With this considered my changes between drafts are primarily in the grammatical sense as follows when comparing a sentence from paper three. With the rough draft reading as follows: “With this considered a happy medium must be achieved, allowing for the proper understanding of other mentions through the relation of one’s struggles with others. But not to an extent to where you begin to surround yourself and burden yourself with their problems and or issues. A proper balance of both understanding and separation is required to have empathy be fully effective.”  With this then being compared to final draft. “With this considered a happy medium must be achieved, allowing for the proper understanding of others through the relation of one’s own struggles to another. But not to an extent to where you begin to surround yourself and burden yourself with their problems and or issues. A proper balance of both understanding and separation is required to have empathy be fully effective.”. 

Although these changes are necessary to make the piece better I still always feel as if my content could be consistently improving as well.

First Draft of Essay Three:

Empathy and Its Implementation

Jackson Schuyler

Understanding another’s emotions is a task that can never have a single definitive solution. People are different, their thoughts,ideals,emotions and self expression all vary. With them all being shaped by their experiences in life, with all of the actions and events that have occurred along the way going to ultimately shape the person. If you were to pluck two people from random parts of the world, say for example a man from middle class suburban America and then a person from rural Peru. Now make them look at each other then explain or try to assume what the other is feeling or thinking. You would be hard pressed to get a clear answer from either party. What one may think may be incomprehensible or absurd to another, or even the reason behind it and the emotional connections and expression. Although one may think a certain way doesnt mean youll be able to have others change their point of view or understanding to simulate it. Even though this is so complex it is still essential in all basic human interaction and relationships. To be able to understand how another is feeling is what allows all conversations and relationships to form and blossom. So without this basic understanding of emotions very little practical interactions could function or even occur. Yet what allows these things to take place?

Enter the idea of Empathy, now when one thinks of empathy one thinks of children learning the importance of understanding their classmates emotions. Learning the rhythm “Empathy, empathy put yourself in the place of me.”. Although the concept may seem juvenile and as something that’s been learned in mastered in one’s youth this is not necessarily the case. All skills can be expanded and improved even empathy, having a better understanding of others’ feelings and thoughts can greatly improve how you interact and treat others. Helping you to be able to better understand one’s struggles to give help or advice or even learn how directly or indirectly how your actions affect others. Although how does one go about improving this skill, In an article by Emma Patte she interviewed five experts on the subject of empathy and understanding and what Doctor Brene Brown said on the topic was particularly enlightening.

“I may not know what it’s like to be separated from my family at the border, but I know powerlessness and grief and rage and despair,” Brené Brown Said (Pattee,2020)

She puts forward an interesting idea of how it is next to impossible to truly put ourselves in the direct place of others. We can never truly understand or comprehend others emotions and feelings as their entire life has shaped them to act and react in that way. With the only proper method of replication and understanding to be to know their entire life. She instead suggests the idea that we have all felt similarly to what others may have felt, and the best way for ourselves to understand another’s suffering would be to use our own as a comparison. Although she does make note of a possible downside to doing this and mentions what one should avoid if they attempt to do this.

“Dr. Brown said it’s important that you don’t take on someone’s emotions to the extent that it becomes a burden, or that you co-opt their experience. “What’s the use of both of us both being in that dark place? There’s no help there,” she said. Dr. Brown uses the example of a friend calling with a marriage problem: “I have to touch in myself a place that understands that feeling, and then communicate back to you in a powerful way that you’re not alone without taking on and owning your pain.” (Pattee,2020)

Understanding another emotion is not an absorption of their pain, it’s a comprehension and acknowledgment of it with the hope of finding an ideal solution. The taking on of another’s pain and emotions can be detrimental to one’s own health this can best be demonstrated by what Leslie Jamison says in her piece on Morgellons disease “The Devils Disease” ,  she over the course of the paper see her health and mental state degrade as she tries and connect with those suffering of Morgellons. She enters as a skeptic as this disease has a high level of controversy around it as no doctor has ever diagnosed it, but patients claim to have symptoms, physical effects and proof. She enters and writes of what she thinks as follows as she has entered attempting to understand why this is occurring to so many.

“But my willingness to turn Morgellons into metaphor — a physical manifestation of some abstract human tendency — is dangerous. It obscures the particular and unbidden nature of the suffering in front of me. I feel how conveniently these lives could be sculpted to fit the metaphoric strictures of the essay itself.” (Jamison,2019)

So she begins to consider others and what they are experiencing more, with her hearing more stories and first hand experiences. With her then putting herself in their positions thinking of how it would affect her and how similar experiences have put her into a similar situation. With her ultimately starting to come down with the disease herself for a brief period of time. Yet the tool it has had on her mental health and outlook is arguably more harmful; she ends her essay on these thoughts.

“I want to follow humbly; I want to believe everyone. But belief isn’t the same thing as compassion, or sorrow, or pity. It wasn’t until the seventeenth century that the words pity and piety were completely distinguished. And what I feel toward this disorder is a kind of piety — an obligation to pay homage, or at least accord some reverence to these patients’ collective understanding of what makes them hurt. Maybe it’s a kind of sympathetic infection: this need to go-along-with, to nod-along-with, to agree.” (Jamison,2019)

She is able to gain a proper understanding and truly be able to articulate even in brief the struggles of others, yet at what cost. She exerts this far worse for ware worried stressed and in a condition comparable to those she was interviewing. So this raises the question of the extent that empathy should go to and if so what is too far or too short.

With this considered a happy medium must be achieved, allowing for the proper understanding of other mentions through the relation of one’s struggles with others. But not to an extent to where you begin to surround yourself and burden yourself with their problems and or issues. A proper balance of both understanding and separation is required to have empathy be fully effective. Where one is able to regulate the emotional connection to others and their suffering, being able to open themselves enough to understand and relate but not make the problem or emotion become theirs.As this will ultimately prevent them from being able to provide assistance and will find themselves in the exact position as the individual their trying to help.

Work Cited:

Pattee, Emma. “5 People Who Can Help You Strengthen Your Empathy Muscle.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 Oct. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/10/04/smarter-living/5-people-who-can-help-you-strengthen-your-empathy-muscle.html?ref=oembed.

Jamison, Leslie, et al. “[Essay]: The Devil’s Bait, by Leslie Jamison: Harper’s Magazine – Part 2.” Harper’s Magazine, 9 Feb. 2019, harpers.org/archive/2013/09/the-devils-bait/2/.

Final Draft of Essay Three:

Empathy and Its Implementation

Jackson Schuyler

Understanding another’s emotions is a task that can never have a single definitive solution. People are different, their thoughts, ideals, emotions, and self-expression all vary. All being shaped by their experiences in life, with all the actions and events that have occurred along the way going to ultimately shape the person. If you were to pluck two people from random parts of the world, say for example a man from middle-class suburban America and then a person from rural Peru. Now make them look at each other than explain or try to assume what the other is feeling or thinking. You would be hard-pressed to get a clear answer from either party. What one may think may be incomprehensible or absurd to another, or even the reason behind it and the emotional connections and expression. Although one may think a certain way doesn’t mean you’ll be able to have others change their point of view or understanding to be similar. Even though this is so complex it is still essential in all basic human interactions and relationships. To be able to understand how another is feeling is what allows all conversations and relationships to form and blossom. So, without this basic understanding of emotions very little practical interactions could function or even occur. Yet what allows these things to take place?

Enter the idea of empathy, when one thinks of empathy one thinks of children learning the importance of understanding their classmate’s emotions learning the nursery rhyme “Empathy, empathy put yourself in the place of me.”. Although the concept may seem juvenile and as something that’s been mastered in one’s youth this is not necessarily the case. All skills can be expanded and improved even empathy, having a better understanding of others’ feelings and thoughts can greatly improve how you interact and treat others. Helping to make you to be able to better understand another’s struggles to give help or advice or even learn how directly or indirectly how your actions affect others. Although how does one go about improving this skill? In an article by Emma Patte she interviewed five experts about empathy and understanding and what Doctor Brene Brown said on the topic was particularly enlightening.

“I may not know what it’s like to be separated from my family at the border, but I know powerlessness and grief and rage and despair,” Brené Brown Said (Pattee,2020)

She puts forward an interesting idea of how it is next to impossible to truly put ourselves in the direct place of others. We can never truly understand or comprehend other emotions and feelings as their entire life has shaped them to act and react in that way. The only proper method of replication and understanding is to know their entire life. She instead suggests the idea that we have all felt similar to what others may have felt, and the best way for ourselves to understand another’s suffering would be to use our own as a comparison. Although she does make note of a possible downside to doing this and mentions what one should avoid if they attempt to do this.

“Dr. Brown said it’s important that you don’t take on someone’s emotions to the extent that it becomes a burden, or that you co-opt their experience. “What’s the use of both of us both being in that dark place? There’s no help there,” she said. Dr. Brown uses the example of a friend calling with a marriage problem: “I have to touch in myself a place that understands that feeling, and then communicate back to you in a powerful way that you’re not alone without taking on and owning your pain.” (Pattee,2020)

Understanding another’s emotion is not an absorption of their pain, it’s a comprehension and acknowledgment of it with the hope of finding an ideal solution. The taking on of another’s pain and emotions can be detrimental to one’s own health. This can best be demonstrated by what Leslie Jamison says in her piece on Morgellons disease “The Devil’s Bait”.  She over the course of the paper see her health and mental state degrade as she tries and connect with those suffering of Morgellons. She enters as a skeptic as this disease has a high level of controversy around it as no doctor has ever diagnosed it, but patients claim to have symptoms, physical effects, and proof. She enters a meeting meant for victims of Morgellons, and writes of what she thinks as she attempts to understand why this is occurring to so many.

“But my willingness to turn Morgellons into metaphor — a physical manifestation of some abstract human tendency — is dangerous. It obscures the particular and unbidden nature of the suffering in front of me. I feel how conveniently these lives could be sculpted to fit the metaphoric strictures of the essay itself.” (Jamison,2019)

So, she begins to consider others and what they are experiencing more, with her hearing more stories and firsthand experiences, with her then putting herself in their positions thinking of how it would affect her and how similar experiences have put her into a similar situation, with her ultimately starting to thinks she’s down with the disease herself for a brief period. Yet the toll it has had on her mental health and outlook is arguably more harmful; she ends her essay on these thoughts.

“I walk among the young and healthy and I am more or less one of them. I am trying not to itch. I am trying not to take my skin for granted. But I can’t quiet the voices of those who no longer feel they belong anywhere. I spend a day in their kingdom and then leave when I please. It feels like a betrayal to come up for air….Then it starts happening, as I knew it would. After a shower, I notice small blue strands like tiny worms across my clavicle. I find what appear to be minuscule spines, little quills, tucked into the crevice of a fortune line on my palm.” (Jamison,2019)

She can gain a proper understanding and truly be able to articulate even in brief the struggles of others, yet at what cost. She exerts this far worse for wear, worried and, in a condition, comparable to those she was interviewing. So, this raises the question of the extent that empathy should go to and if so, what is too far or too short.

With this considered a happy medium must be achieved, allowing for the proper understanding of others through the relation of one’s own struggles to another . But not to an extent to where you begin to surround yourself and burden yourself with their problems and or issues. A proper balance of both understanding and separation is required to have empathy be fully effective. When one can regulate the emotional connection to others and their suffering, being able to open themselves enough to understand and relate but not make the problem or emotion become theirs. As this will ultimately prevent them from being able to aid and will find themselves in the exact position as the individual they’re trying to help.

Yet is it necessarily true that empathy can be a good and proper tool for understanding and progress, if it’s used incorrectly it can be detrimental to the user and then intended recipient of the good will. Hollow words and symbolic gestures are meaningless without sincerity and action, to simply nood your head, give a blank and broad smile and pretend you understand is ultimately useless. Effort and a sincere effort that must be made to understand others and a simple surface level understanding and level of pity is simply ill equipped to make a proper positive impact.

Work Cited:

Pattee, Emma. “5 People Who Can Help You Strengthen Your Empathy Muscle.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 Oct. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/10/04/smarter-living/5-people-who-can-help-you-strengthen-your-empathy-muscle.html?ref=oembed. Jamison, Leslie, et al. “[Essay]: The Devil’s Bait, by Leslie Jamison: Harper’s Magazine – Part 2.” Harper’s Magazine, 9 Feb. 2019, harpers.org/archive/2013/09/the-devils-bait/2/.

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