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A Response To “My Son, The Prince of Fashion”

This article was an interesting piece of self-inspiration and expression through the gaze of fashion. Now I will be fully honest and admit something, I am by no means a fashion inclined individual. I know nothing of it or its inner workings, I wear Grateful Dead shirts and cargo pants with hiking boots every day without fail and maybe if I feel Like “living it up” I’ll throw on a tasteful wool cardigan. So, as one can see if it wasn’t evident, I’m not a fashionable individual nor am I a trendy one as I dress as someone who belongs on a commune. My critique of this article may not be coming from the eye of an expert and more from that of an outsider looking in but attempting to make sense of the complex inner workings of a worldwide industry.

This article which I feel at times may be more of an advertisement for clothes for the detail it tells of the struggles of self-expression and self-definition. Which is the focus of this article, Abe does through the clothes he wears. It is an interesting concept rarely considered with how much we can express about ourselves both subtlety and unsubtly from what we wear. How certain articles of clothing may affect others outward opinions of both for better and for worse. For example, Abe gets treated poorly for what he wears at school.

“There had been teasing; one of his two little snap-brims would get snatched off his head now and then, and tossed around the playground. But the teasing had never exceeded Abe’s ability or willingness to withstand it, or the joy that he derived from losing himself in clothes. And his stubborn persistence had established a pattern that was thereafter repeated as his taste grew more refined and sophisticated: Little by little, one by one among the other boys in his class,”(Chabon, Bissinger, & Toledano, My Son, The Prince Of Fashion 2016).

Chabon acknowledges his sons differences and his mistreatment by others. Giving us some more in depth detail as to the reason why he continues to wear what he wears.

“As before—even worse than before—Abe suffered taunts and teasing for his style of dress and his love of style. But he did not back down; he doubled down. He flew the freak flag of his Tigran Avetisyan shirt high. And though I couldn’t fathom the impulse driving my kid to expose himself, every day, to mockery and verbal abuse at school, I admired him for not surrendering,”(Chabon, Bissinger, & Toledano, My Son, The Prince Of Fashion 2016).

But Chabon makes note of even thought his son encounters difficulty and harassment. He still carries on regardless and doesn’t allow for others to bring him down

This article to its credit does do an adequate job at articulating the struggles that Abe goes through with his own style of fashion. How people have reacted harshly and treated him differently for simply the way he dresses and presents himself. Yet he sticks to his guns and decides to endure all of this to continue expressing himself in this manner. Which is the core and essence of true self-expression that being the lack of care for what other individuals think of your decisions and actions. Now when I say actions and decisions, I mean primarily the presentation of oneself and actions and nothing on a broader scale. He did what made him happy and what he wanted to do to feel distinct and unique. I like this article as it does not simply portray self-expression as all sunshine and daydreams, but with conflict, exclusion and even persecution when trying to express oneself. That’s why people often struggle with this so much. We are constantly seeking the approval or validation of others, we at times forget to validate ourselves. We fear what the world will think of us, that’s why true self-expression can only be achieved by putting your needs before others. Now I don’t mean this in a selfish sense, I mean this purely in consideration for what will bring you the most joy. If you want to wear a pair of pink pants but you fear a backlash, just do it. Don’t allow fear to control your actions, allow yourself to make decisions motivated by your wants and desires. If what you’re doing is in no means hurting or harming anyone then criticism is unjustifiable. Actions that you partake for yourself that make you happy are your business and your business alone. 

Sources:

Chabon, M., Bissinger, B., & Toledano, P. (2016, September 27). My Son, The Prince Of Fashion. Retrieved September 01, 2020, from https://www.gq.com/story/my-son-the-prince-of-fashion

A Response to “Bad Feminist”

This article was an interesting view into feminism and the bizarre level of social taboo surrounding it. The author of this article Gay often describes the wide misconception of feminists.

“Essential feminism suggests anger, humorlessness, militancy, unwavering principles, and a prescribed set of rules for how to be a proper feminist woman, or at least a proper white, heterosexual, feminist woman—hate pornography, unilaterally decry the objectification of women, don’t cater to the male gaze, hate men, hate sex, focus on career, don’t shave. I kid, mostly, with that last one. This is nowhere near an accurate description of feminism, but the movement has been warped by misperception for so long that even people who should know better have bought into this essential image of feminism.”(Gay et al., Bad Feminist 2012).

She often mentions this idea of the “aggressive” or “militant” feminist. The kind of feminist that one may see screaming at protests on the news or burning bras in the street. The feminist that we see portrayed in a negative light on the news as being radical “men hatters”. But to say that this all feminists and the ideas of feminism are like this is simply inherently false. To let the actions of a few, speak for the many is simply unjust, but is also harmful to the ideal. It is like how after the war in Iraq we have this view of most Muslims being sympathetic to the enemy and being terrorists. Which is simply blatant false lies, that make gigantic assumptions and infer things to be facts with no coherent evidence. Based solely on the actions of a limited number of individuals that for worse effect the collective who are completely unrelated and innocent.     

She also mentions the fear that occurs when being labeled as a feminist as it now has a false negative connotation in the general mind of the public.

“I sometimes cringe when someone refers to me as a feminist, as if I should be ashamed of my feminism or as if the word feminist is an insult. The label is rarely offered in kindness. I am generally called a feminist when I have the nerve to suggest that the misogyny deeply embedded in our culture is a real problem, requiring relentless vigilance.

A more direct reprimand came from a man I was dating, during a heated discussion that was not quite an argument. He said, “Don’t you raise your voice to me,” which was strange because I had not raised my voice. I was stunned because no one had ever said such a thing to me. He expounded, at length, about how women should talk to men. When I dismantled his pseudo-theories, he said, “You’re some kind of feminist, aren’t you?” His tone made it clear that to be a feminist was undesirable. I was not being a good woman. I remained silent, stewing. I thought, “Isn’t it obvious I am a feminist, albeit not a very good one?”

I’m not the only outspoken woman who shies away from the feminist label, who fears the consequences of accepting the label.” (Gay et al., Bad Feminist 2012).

This idea that often women would rather try not to present themselves as feminist because of fear of social backlash is sad. The true core ideals of feminism are ones every functioning human should try to support. It is not this false narrative of female superiority that is so often put into perspective. It is the idea that both (yes both, not one over the other) genders are created equal and thus should be treated equally in every aspect of life. Yet rarely do people view feminism in such a light, they instead view it as a bizarre beast of men hatting and female domination, which is simply false. From this negative connotation that is in the popular collective one becomes hesitant to use this label. One even may feel pressured to limit their self-expression on this issue, as they fear the backlash. Which is sad, not only is this limiting one’s ability to freely express themselves, it is also restricting the flow of ideas. If a subject is considered social taboo or socially unacceptable, how can a progressive discourse occur that can make improvements upon the issue? To try and relate this back to the previous article I read about Abe and his fashion, Chabon talks about Abe’s resolve to keep being himself even in the face of harassment and discrimination.

“As before—even worse than before—Abe suffered taunts and teasing for his style of dress and his love of style. But he did not back down; he doubled down. He flew the freak flag of his Tigran Avetisyan shirt high. And though I couldn’t fathom the impulse driving my kid to expose himself, every day, to mockery and verbal abuse at school, I admired him for not surrendering,”(Chabon, Bissinger, & Toledano, My Son, The Prince Of Fashion 2016).

These two articles overlap, they both involve reluctance to express oneself due to social backlash, but in the case of Abe he can be himself and feel better. But in the case of Gay she doesn’t she want to be a feminist but doesn’t feel that she’s “hardcore: enough. She puts it in a manner as simple as this.

“I am, therefore, a bad feminist. I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”” (Gay et al., Bad Feminist 2012).

So, at the end of the day I do not really know the correct solution to her issue. I firmly believe everyone should believe in feminism in some capacity or at least its core ideals. But if expressing these views in public or private brings backlash to the speaker then I cannot say. Feminism is often seen as a political issue even though it is far broader in scope. Politics is a nasty thing to discuss. People often believe firmly in their own views and rarely budge when a disagreement occurs. Or worse, get violent or angry when one does. This atmosphere around the topic of feminism makes it a hard thing to discuss. I firmly believe that if you cannot openly share your political opinions in your social circles then there is something wrong. If a constructive and civil conversation cannot occur then something is fundamentally wrong, but once again this is idealistic and almost never the case. This is disheartening to say the least, as this topic should be discussed and one’s views and opinions should not be restricted by this concept of social taboo when it comes to fundamental human rights. I think there may be no real way to reverse this either, an attempt on reeducation of the ignorant may work well but who is to say they will listen. Even if one tried to reinvent the image of feminism it would most likely be met with backlash by both sides. It is up to the individual to choose if they want to express their feelings on this topic. As the citations and possible consequences vary heavily from situation to situation. 

Sources:

Gay, R., Vaidhyanathan, S., Petrusich, A., Bradley, R., Kolbe, L., & Alison, J. (2012, September 22). Bad Feminist. Retrieved September 02, 2020, from https://www.vqronline.org/essay/bad-feminist

Chabon, M., Bissinger, B., & Toledano, P. (2016, September 27). My Son, The Prince of Fashion. Retrieved September 01, 2020, from https://www.gq.com/story/my-son-the-prince-of-fashion

A Response to “Raising a black son in America”

This article was a horrifying reminder of the state of our country. How even though our country has been able to land on the moon and split the atom, we still fundamentally fail to respect our fellow man. To say America is not racist would be ignorant, now more than ever with the importance of Black Lives Matter and the need for fundamental police reform shows this. But even when this was written these issues were still key. The article that Hennick writes is a sobering reminder of our failures as a society. 

“It’s impossible right now to know what sort of impact race will have on Nile’s sense of identity, or how it will circumscribe his ability to move through the world as he pleases. It is my whitest, most naive hope that my son will never have to worry about racism at all. I hope that we’ll make progress quickly enough that racism won’t affect him, or that he’ll be light-skinned enough that it won’t affect him, or that he’ll always be well dressed and well spoken enough for it not to affect him. I make up all sorts of reasons — the diversity of our community, the liberal politics of our state — that racism won’t touch my son in the way it’s touched virtually every person of color who’s ever lived in America.

My wife has no such illusions. She’s certain that, in just a few years, we’ll need to have difficult conversations with Nile about how other people may see his skin color and his gender and perceive him as a threat. She’s certain that we’ll have to tell him not to play hide-and-seek after dark, so that he’s not mistaken for a burglar; that we’ll have to tell him to keep his hands visible when he’s in a store, so that he’s not mistaken for a thief; that we’ll have to teach him to move slowly and say “yessir” and “nossir” when he interacts with police, so that he’s not mistaken for someone who must be shot before he shoots them.”(Hennick, Raising a black son in America – The Boston Globe 2019).

The idea that even in 2016 when this article takes place, that a mother and father need to explain to their son rules for his survival in society is beyond words. The need for him to always act innocent when he’s simply doing day to day tasks, shows a failure of our country. The fact that he will be forever judged for the rest of his life purely by the color of his skin, something which he has no way to change or control is profoundly upsetting. The idea that he has to profoundly change his character and himself to be treated with the bare minimum of respect by society should seem like something out of a horror story of some dystopian future but sadly this is a simple fact of life. The other articles that I read hardly can compare any real similarities to this. With Gay’s “Bad Feminist” she often mentions how certain situations can be difficult when one has feminist ideology. But one also could keep it in or hide it as sad as that fact may be as not all are accepting of the ideals of feminism. Yet one can’t stop being Black, you can’t hide it or change it. This is met with that same reality as feminism as not all are accepting of it, likewise not all are accepting of African Americans. Which is a disgusting fact of life in our country. With racism and all its horrors being on full display in our current day and age how is one supposed to deal or cope with that when they’re a primary target of this blind and unjustified hatred. Another example being the article by Chabon “My son the Prince of Fashion” he mentioned his son being bullied for the way he dresses and presents himself. But once again he can change and or stop that. But once again you can’t stop being Black. As Chabons son was bullied, so too could Nile but not for the way he dresses but for the way he looks and his heritage both things that can’t be changed. I sincerely hope that this doesn’t happen but as the incident that occurs at Fenway represents these things can happen anywhere. Even in Boston which is often considered a liberal and or progressive city by those on the outside. But as a man from New England I know my history I know the ugly past of Boston and how still today it’s one of the most racist cities in the U.S. I have a saying about Massachusetts and Boston in general “It’s one of the few places you can vote Democrat and still be horrifically racist.” Now I won’t lie to you and say that everything is doom and gloom in the world. The work that’s being done by Black Lives Matter is monumental in the idea of equal treatment and legitimate progress in our country. But as one can assume this may not be enough, we need to change ourselves and move away from the idea of simply tolerating others to accepting them and treating them as respected equals in all manners of life.

Sources:

Hennick, C. (2019, December 04). Raising a black son in America – The Boston Globe. Retrieved September 05, 2020, from https://www.bostonglobe.com/2019/12/04/magazine/raising-black-son-america/

Chabon, M., Bissinger, B., & Toledano, P. (2016, September 27). My Son, The Prince Of Fashion. Retrieved September 01, 2020, from https://www.gq.com/story/my-son-the-prince-of-fashion

Gay, R., Vaidhyanathan, S., Petrusich, A., Bradley, R., Kolbe, L., & Alison, J. (2012, September 22). Bad Feminist. Retrieved September 02, 2020, from https://www.vqronline.org/essay/bad-feminist

A response to “Want to Be Less Racist?”

The article written by Moises focuses on the idea of harmony that exists in Hawaii or what he often referred to as the “Aloha Spirit”. His interest in this work was spurred on by his pre-existing interest in the topic of mixed-race identity. This leads him to the work of Doctor Pauker, a Hawaiian native that uses her home island as a major part of her research into the topic.

“I first came across Dr. Pauker some years ago while researching mixed-race identity formation. The question of how people from mixed backgrounds create their identity has, until recently, mostly been ignored by psychologists. The assumption has been that mixed-race people likely have a difficult time because they are from (at least) two cultures but inhabit a world that often requires total allegiance to one group or another. And there is some truth to this. Researchers have documented how the unique challenges encountered by mixed people can, depending on the social context, negatively affect their mental health.” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

With his continued research into this topic he finds more evidence that goes against the initial ideas in his research. With the research put forward by Dr. Pauker and her colleagues indicating that multiculturalism, if cultivated in a positive environment, can be an extreme advantage. Which she indicates in her research as follows. 

“But Dr. Pauker belongs to a small group of psychologists, many of them mixed themselves, who have begun to explore the advantages of being multiracial. For instance, Sarah Gaither at Duke, a frequent collaborator of Dr. Pauker’s, has discovered that, when reminded of their multiracial heritage, mixed-race individuals score higher on tests that measure creativity. This is probably not because they are inherently superior in some way, but because the very thing that’s so difficult for them — the need to navigate multiple worlds — may actually enhance mental flexibility.

Plenty of research indicates that diversity has many benefits. Diverse groups are better at problem-solving; in mock trials, diverse juries give fairer verdicts; diverse companies are more profitable; researchers argue that diverse countries have stronger economies. And the United States is not only becoming more diverse, it’s also growing more mixed. Mixed-race people are among the fastest-growing segments of the population — between 2.6 percent and 6.9 percent of the population, depending on the study. By 2060, the segment is projected to double.”(Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

This goes against the ideas put forward by his initial findings indicating that there are clear advantages to being from a multicultural background. This being the enhanced consideration of multiple issues from unique perspectives which is hugely applicable and important in our modern society. He then begins to discuss the false idea of racism being part of human nature. How with the advancement of society the root foundation that shaped racism being the fear of the unknown and those who are different to us. We have moved beyond the point of warring tribes and kingdoms and have become nations with set ideals and truths. We also now have the capacity to learn and educate ourselves. We are able to make the unknown known and the foreign familiar. Really dismantling the weak leg that racism has stood on for hundreds of years. He ties this breaking of barriers, the deconstruction of preconceived notions and ideas to what he is observed in Hawaii. With this idea able to be learned at a quick pace by those from the mainland which is demonstrated by Dr. Paukers work.

“The statistic hints at what the white mainland students are going through. They are escaping, probably for the first time, what sociologists call “white transparency.” Whiteness stops being invisible to them; they suddenly perceive themselves as having a color — a race. And if they’re going to have friends, they’re forced to socialize with nonwhites, which means pushing past their preconceptions.       

All of this is likely humbling and occasionally painful. But pain can mean growth. “It’s sort of like when you go and exercise,” Dr. Pauker told me. “Unless you tire your muscles out and experience some pain and discomfort, you’re not going to get any benefit.”

it brought to mind something James Baldwin said decades ago: Racism exacts a toll on those who are racist, distorting their humanity and hindering their ability to be fully self-reflective beings. That’s surely no consolation to the victims of racism, but Dr. Pauker’s findings seem to confirm Baldwin’s thesis. The mental rigidity required to harbor racist ideas ends up bleeding over into other cognitive domains.

“In lots of circumstances, rigidity is helpful,” Dr. Pauker told me, because it conserves mental energy. In theory, racial categorizing is supposed to work like a shorthand, helping us determine how to interact with people while expending minimal energy figuring out who they actually are. The problem, though, is that our perception of race and what it means is based on a model of the world that’s almost always incorrect, and often entirely fabricated.

Dr. Pauker’s studies have important caveats. White students who have come here from the mainland are, almost by definition, already an open-minded, adventurous bunch. Maybe it’s not so surprising that for them, spending time in a nonmajority-white place would change how they think about race. The real trick would be to get a white supremacist to enroll here and see if there was the same transformation.” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

This goes back to the idea pressed by Moises when he mentions the level of diversity and inclusivity that is present in Hawaii. This could someday be used as an example or a possible model for how to better educate ourselves on how to integrate people from diverse cultures into a large setting. With the hope of creating a more accepting and diverse thinking based on race like what is seen in Hawaii. He points to the need and possible success of this idea to how racist attitudes and behaviors can be unlearned. If one enters a diverse environment, such is made evident in the work by Dr.Pauker above with exchange students and their time in Hawaii. He also goes to mention how this ideal setting that is often portrayed in Hawaii is not always the case and cracks do form. With racism and intolerance still being present on the island but not to the extent that we see on the mainland. He also talks about this idea of a perfect Hawaii being a stereotype at times and even being a mythical thing rather than something grounded.

Mentioning how the cooperation and acceptance of others stems at its roots from the need to function cooperatively in a setting with limited resources and space, the idea of to not simply take but to give. Not this ethereal concept referred to as the “Aloha Spirit” which natives think of more as marketing gimmick and even as something harmful as it’s more of a character of the true ideals held by the people of Hawaii. 

In the end, Moises poses the idea that we should attempt to learn from Hawaiian culture and apply it to how we interact with others in our diverse world. Without losing sight of the traditions that it stems from and how it is not a flawless system but can still be improved upon. He also promotes the idea of visiting Hawaii and participating in something like the experience had by the white exchange students. He believes that if applied properly it would do serious good for one’s view of themselves and the world adding “That if one wants to be less racist, then they should move to Hawaii.” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

Sources:

Velasquez-manoff, M., & Winter, D. (2019, June 28). Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii. Retrieved September 08, 2020, from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/28/opinion/sunday/racism-hawaii.html

A response to Dr. Pauker in Velasquez article “Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii”

A study conducted by Dr. Pauker that is mentioned prominently in Velasquez article “Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii”, is a study that contains relevant and startling information about the youths’ view on race and its stereotypes in the United States. This is not something that she has a simple interest in, its one she is seen the horrors of firsthand. She was born in Hawaii to a Japanese mother and an Italian Irish father. When it came time for her to go to college the study Psychology she chose to go to Dartmouth as she was keen on seeing somewhere other than her home island. But sadly, upon her arrival she was met with a horrific level of racism.

“She encountered a barrage of questions from fellow students. What was her ethnicity? Where was she from? Was she Native Hawaiian? The questions seemed innocent on the surface, but she sensed that the students were really asking what box to put her in. And that categorization would determine how they treated her. “It opened my eyes to the fact that not everyone sees race the same way,” she told me.

Back in Hawaii, being mixed was so common as to be nearly unremarkable. Many of her friends were some mixture of East Asian ethnicities, white, Filipino, Hawaiian and more, and for the most part, everyone hung out with everyone else. The Dartmouth student body, on the other hand, seemed self-segregated. The nonwhite students primarily stuck with their own race — blacks sat with blacks in the cafeteria, Asians with Asians, Native Americans with Native Americans. (Dartmouth, which was around 75 percent white then, has since doubled its share of nonwhite students.)

For the first time in her life, she wasn’t sure where she belonged, and she found herself wondering: Does it have to be like this?” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

From her horrifying experience with racism in Dartmouth and Boston, she began to reflect upon things of this nature. In particular how minorities were viewed in such a more accepting light in Hawaii when compared to Dartmouth. From her experience in her field she came to the conclusion of testing children ages 4-11 as this is when they start to form an essential view on race. Essential View on race being “ideas about human beings’ unchangeable essence, their inherent inferiority or the threat they supposedly pose — makes racism possible.” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)  She decided to conduct an experiment to better measure and compare the subtle and unsubtle racial bias and stereotypes that are held by Americans and how it is shaped in youth. Her research was based on the findings  on the youth in surrounding communities of Dartmouth.

“She found that between ages 4 and 11, upper-middle-class children from mostly white neighborhoods around Boston increasingly viewed race as a permanent condition and expressed stereotypes about other racial groups: that blacks were aggressive or, on the flip side, good at basketball; that Asians were submissive and good at math. These children came from public schools in liberal areas. They probably weren’t deliberately taught these stereotypes at home. But they absorbed them from the American ether nonetheless.”  (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

She then repeated this same test and procedure for kids in the area around Honolulu, which gave her the following findings.

“Dr. Pauker repeated the study with middle- and upper-middle-class grade-school students in and around Honolulu, and was not entirely surprised to find that in Hawaii, the children, including those who were white, tended not to express the same essentialist ideas about race. They were not race-blind. They recognized skin color, hair texture and other features commonly associated with race. But they did not attribute to race the inherent qualities — aggression or book smarts — that their mainland brethren did. “They didn’t believe that race was biological,” (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

The final finding that she discovered showed that in the area around Dartmouth kids had horrifically harsh racial stereotypes. This stems from a number of reasons. The high level of white people in the area but it is somewhat surprising as these kids came from very liberal schools and communities. Which makes the fact that these hateful and harmful ideas were able to seep into the minds of the youth all that more unsettling. But when compared to those tested in Honolulu a complete shift is observed. She mentions how most kids didn’t attribute race to certain characteristics or stereotypes as those in Boston did. They were still able to identify it, but they were not able to assign traits or stereotypes. These findings, although seemingly surprising to one not familiar with this subject, came to no surprise to Dr. Pauker who summed up her final thoughts in a neat hypothesis.

“She had a hypothesis to explain the difference. Whites dominated in the Boston area schools, but were a minority in Hawaii, and always had been. Hawaii also had the highest percentage of mixed-race people by a long shot in the country. (Among them was our first mixed-race president, Barack Obama, who was born there.) Mixed-race people, who make up nearly a quarter of Hawaii’s population of 1.4 million, serve as a kind of jamming mechanism for people’s race radar, Dr. Pauker thinks. Because if you can’t tell what people are by looking at them — if their very existence blurs the imagined boundaries between supposedly separate groups — then race becomes a less useful way to think about people.”  (Velasquez-manoff & Winter, Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii 2019)

Source:

Velasquez-manoff, M., & Winter, D. (2019, June 28). Want to Be Less Racist? Move to Hawaii. Retrieved September 08, 2020, from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/28/opinion/sunday/racism-hawaii.html